Saturday, January 30, 2021

MTG (Most Terrible Georgian)

Monday, January 25, 2021
Since an independent audit determined that every single reader of my work has at least two college degrees, I don't hesitate to reveal to you an addition to the universal realm of Ohm's Law, the Pythagorean Theorem and Freiling's Axiom -- Grandpa Alan's Supposition.  Grandpa Alan's Supposition maintains that most often there is only one winning ticket for very large U.S. lottery jackpot, in defiance of the odds.  

Last week, I purchased tickets for Powerball and Mega Millions, which respectively paid out $731.1 million and $1.05 billion to one winner each.  By some quirk, it was not me in either case.  But, that's not important.  It was Grandpa Alan's Supposition again.  In fact, prior to last week, 4 out of the 5 largest jackpots went to one winner.    https://apnews.com/article/6d98eff765c9e2f4b683671311fe5b8b

The odds of winning Powerball: 1 in 292,201,338; Mega Millions: 1 in 302,575,350.  However, when Grandpa Alan's Supposition kicks in, your return is several times the odds, which is why I bought tickets last week, only prevented from winning by a fluke.

. . .

Here, further evidence of the death of the New York is dead claim is provided by a look at current apartment lease data.
https://nyti.ms/2Y7bkyF

December 2020 lease signings increased 94% over December 2019 for two main reasons -- 2019 ended weakly and 2020 rents decreased with the surge of Covid-19.  Welcome home.
. . .

Even this early, we can announce that the Word of the Year is Unify; let's bring the American people together after a very divisive period in our history.  For instance, a headline in the Dallas Morning News reads "Can Joe Biden unify America?"  https://www.dallasnews.com/news/politics/2021/01/20/can-joe-biden-unify-america-it-starts-with-creating-the-right-tone/

I won't be difficult and point out that the goal of oneness is not only remote, but potentially dangerous.  An undifferentiated mass is a threat to those who find themselves on the margin whether by choice or by chance. 

Let us broaden our view of unity, seeing a path not a destination.  Putting compromise before rigid devotion to a policy stance should appeal to many Americans.  In fact, this corresponds to the view of most Republicans, as follows: We Republicans will continue to refute the results of the last presidential election so long as you Democrats do not try to reform our political or economic system.  Kumbaya.

Tuesday, January 26, 2021
I want to call to your attention "The Moral Triangle: Germans, Israelis, Palestineans," an ethnographic study by Sa’ed Atshan and Katharina Galor, a Palestinian scholar and an Israeli scholar.  https://www.dukeupress.edu/the-moral-triangle

I haven't read the book yet, but I listened to the authors discussing it this weekend.  It is centered on Berlin, the city with the largest Palestinian population in Europe, mostly refugees, and the largest Israeli population, mostly voluntary expatriates.  According to the authors, the two groups are treated quite differently.  The Israelis are typically welcomed and esteemed in a conscious effort by the Germans to atone for the past, while the Palestinians are treated begrudgingly and often met with Islamophobia.  

Members of the two groups share some neighborhoods, but do not interact significantly, although the authors claim that they are more relaxed around each other in Berlin than almost anywhere else in the world.  It's impossible to predict whether this will have any lasting political impact, but you can hope. 
 
Wednesday, January 27, 2021
Gideon Klein died 76 years ago today.  He was very young, only 25, but had established a reputation as a musician and composer in Prague before being deported to Theresienstadt concentration camp in 1941.

Theresienstadt had a dual character.  It was a way station for many headed for Nazi death camps and, simultaneously, a showcase for how well Jews were treated under the Third Reich.  To fortify that image, many artists and musicians were kept there and allowed some freedom of expression.  Klein wrote several works there, some preserved.  Here is a movement of his "String Trio."   https://youtu.be/abr6nC_pnp0

Days after completing this work in October 1944, he was transferred to Auschwitz and assigned to Fürstengrube, a subcamp at a coal mine owned by IG Farben.  While January 27, 1945 is the official date of the liberation of Auschwitz by the Red Army, the sprawling complex and associated subcamps were not all freed at the same time.  By January 27, 1945, some had been abandoned in whole or part by the fleeing Nazis.  A couple of hundred prisoners remained at Fürstengrube when a dozen or so SS men entered and killed most of the remaining prisoners; some they shot and some burned to death when the SS set their barracks on fire, Gideon Klein among them.
. . .

I got my first Covid-19 vaccination shot his morning at the Harlem Action Health Center, 158 East 115th Street.  Whether you know Manhattan geography or not, it's easy to recognize that Palazzo di Gotthelf, situated in the 200 block of West 68th Street, is far removed from that location.  So, Grandpa Alan, why did you schlep all the way over there to get vaccinated, especially when there are all sorts of medical facilities administering the vaccine between here and there, including the doc-in-the-box directly across the street?  

Put simply, the extraordinary development of the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines in record time was an accomplishment of the Constitution of the United States of America, while the distribution and administration of the vaccines to the citizens were handled under the Articles of Confederation.  

In my peer group of the lame and the halt, appointments made, appointments broken, unanswered telephones, crashing websites persistently frustrated our efforts to guard our health, replacing grandchildren as the primary topic of conversation.  It took me six weeks after vaccinations began to get my first shot today and only because Lily P., my lovely niece, has been refreshing her computer screen every few minutes for days on end.  A blessing on her head.

In contrast to the tortuous path to get in the front door of the Harlem Action Health Center, once there, I had a thoroughly pleasant experience, friendly staff acting professionally and efficiently.  A blessing on their head.

The 116th Street crosstown bus, which returned me to the West Side, ends on 106th Street at Broadway, one block from Absolute Bagels, 2788 Broadway, a formidable contender in the bagel wars.  I hurried home with a handful of fresh bagels, 2 poppy, 2 everything, to celebrate my newly inoculated status.  

Friday, January 29, 2021
Always putting my country first, I have just submitted a proposal to the FBI to save them time and money.  I promise not to utter threats to public officials, a federal crime, as has Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, Republican from Georgia.  https://www.cnn.com/2021/01/26/politics/marjorie-taylor-greene-democrats-violence/index.html
 
That will free up time and money to investigate her on charges of violating, among other statutes, 18 U.S.C. § 875 (c): "Whoever transmits in interstate or foreign commerce any communication containing any threat to kidnap any person or any threat to injure the person of another, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than five years, or both."  Just when we were getting to know you, Marjorie.
 

Saturday, January 23, 2021

Seek and Ye Shall Find

Monday, January 18, 2021

I know that not all of you dear readers live in a state of wedded bliss.  As easy as it is to accomplish, occasionally a little nudge is helpful in finding your beshert (Hebrew for Mr. or Ms. or Mx. Right).  Here, then, is a brief profile of an eligible SWF, conveniently located in Manhattan.

 

"Friendly and soft-spoken, she explained that Hollywood elites conducted Illuminati blood rituals behind closed doors, that former Representative Anthony Weiner’s laptop contained a video of Hillary Clinton committing murder, and that photos from a recent meeting between Mr. Trump and Queen Elizabeth II proved that he had secretly dethroned her."

https://nyti.ms/3srlt7o

. . .

 

San Francisco is now enduring the same faux crisis as we have had here in the Holy Land, hand wringing over the departure of people unable to cope with the 21st century.  https://nyti.ms/35JMnxM  And the cloud, indeed, has proved to have a well-deserved silver lining.  San Francisco rents ended the year down 27%.  https://www.sfgate.com/realestate/article/SF-rent-closes-out-the-year-down-27-15845136.php?utm_campaign=CMS%20Sharing%20Tools%20(Premium)&utm_source=share-by-email&utm_medium=email


While New York City and San Francisco are gaining a little bit more elbow room, urban areas generally throughout the United States are experiencing increased demand for housing.  https://nyti.ms/3nLfPcN


Home prices rose in all large markets across the country, including previously disfavored places, such as Camden, New Jersey, Tulsa, Oklahoma, and Baltimore, Maryland.  The NYC/SF parallel prevailed here, too, in that many people fled no farther than across the nearest body of water, buoying up the real estate markets in Newark, New Jersey, and Oakland, California.


Tuesday, January 19, 2021

I am really worried about the lottery.  Today, the Powerball prize is over 800 million dollars and the Mega Millions nearly that.  Attracted by that much money, I bought tickets for each.  I don't know the difference between them; I assume that any money that they don't give me will go to a good cause.


The problem is with my prize money.  You get about half after taxes, but that's still a lot, 300, 400, 500 million dollars. And that's my problem.  What am I going to do with all that money?  Buy a fancy car with no place to go?  Upgrade Palazzo di Gotthelf without anyone able to come and see it?  Restocking my wardrobe would be equally pointless. 


I really like to travel, but I will have to sit in a hotel room in quarantine for the first 14 days after I get anywhere.  Even if the best restaurants were to deliver to my hotel room (a suite for sure), it's still takeout.  Regardless of which end of the culinary spectrum I might patronize, sitting at a table close to the kitchen, maybe even spying the cook/chef preparing my food, is a key component of going out to eat, assuming you can even go out.


I'd donate, certainly.  West End Synagogue, my favorite collection of anarchic Jews, could always use money.  However, we would probably have to wait until at least late this year to enjoy the improvements.  What all that money would certainly buy is a horde of old and new friends with helpful suggestions and/or sad stories.  Escaping that sort of attention might justify forgoing the prize money.  See, it's not so easy.


Wednesday, January 20, 2021

I can't speak for you, but there doesn't seem to be anyone on the list of people pardoned by the president as he left office that I would want to be stuck in an elevator with.  https://nyti.ms/3sBQm9v


Thursday, January 21, 2021

It was exactly 25 years ago, at the Café Edgar on West 84th Street (since relocated and renamed as Edgar Cafe), that I first met the amazing woman emerging as America's Favorite Epidemiologist.  And the rest, as they say, is herstory. 

. . .


I gasped when I first read that Michelin had awarded one star to a vegan restaurant in France.   https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/france-vegan-restaurant-michelin-star-intl-scli/index.html


In the past, unfairly, I would recoil at the mention of the V word, conflating vegetarian and vegan.  Then, I realized that half of my abundant diet was vegetarian -- the milchigs side of the Kosher yin and yang, milchigs/fleishigs.  In these very pages, I have sung the praises of B&H Dairy Restaurant, 127 Second Avenue, with its cuisine built around eggs, cheese and sour cream, dairy with a capital D.  However, the elegant Marge C. taught me that these products are only one step removed from animal flesh and, therefore, outside the vegan diet.  Marge informed me, but did not reform me.

. . .


It turns out that Amina S*** is a very common name in Tanzania, Burkina Faso and other parts of Africa.  That wasn't helpful, however, when I found a key chain attached to a mini-wallet on West End Avenue this afternoon.  The wallet held a credit card and a debit card in her name (instinctively, I thought of a woman), a receipt from a grocery store in the Bronx and a $50 bill.

Grandpa and Grandma Nick and Nora on the case.  The Internet mostly pointed to sub-Saharan Africa, which was a reach in a variety of ways.  There were also references to Facebook and LinkedIn, on the other side of the digital divide.  The on-line telephone number searches are no longer free and generally require subscriptions to use, but were able to reveal that one Amina S*** lived in the Bronx, corresponding to the grocery store receipt.

The last name itself connected to a variety of businesses on several continents.  One possibly outdated website promoted a line of modest, modish Muslim women's clothing.  No location was indicated, but there was an e-mail address.  

"Lost keys?" was the subject line of my message, containing only my telephone number.  The phone rang within two minutes.  The breathless young woman was right at the public school abutting Palazzo di Gotthelf and we met within 10 minutes.  We could not hug, but we had an emotional elbow bump.  Case closed.
 
Friday, January 22, 2021
The attempted insurrection of January 6th may be seen as a successor to "Les Miserables," rechristened "Les Deplorables."

 

Saturday, January 16, 2021

Name That Tune

Monday, January 11, 2021
A dear friend offers this unattributed antecedent to Henry Saltzman's book "Oy! Oy! Oy! The Teacher is a Goy."

Oy, oy, oy,
The rebbe was a goy.
What have they done to my little Yiddish boy?
Sent my boy to college,
To learn to read and write,
Now he takes out shikshes,
On Yom Kippur night.

Oy, oy, oy,
The rebbe was a goy.
What have they done to my little Yiddish boy?
Sent my boy to college,
To learn the Jewish way,
Now he thinks a hora’s,
A girl who’s gone astray
. . .

Stephen Colbert has been asking some of his celebrity guests this intriguing question: "You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life: What is it?"  I really don't care much about the answers from the famous and glorious; it is my attempt to answer that interests me.  But first, it's reasonable to be appalled by the prospect of being limited to one song in perpetuity.  Even if it is repeated at long intervals, hearing it again and again will eventually induce mania.

I have struggled to come up with an answer.  I started weighing the desired effect of the singular choice I had to make -- comfort, uplift, nostalgia, reassurance, inspiration, sleep-inducing?  I'm still pondering, but I think it has to be a ballad, relatively peaceful and calming.  I don't mean to dismiss the value of upbeat, rhythmic tunes, but their lively beat might overstimulate an old man getting older.  I can't even decide whether I want a vocal or instrumental selection.  Words repeated often enough will be drained of their meaning.  So, what do you think?  By the way, this indecision has caused me to postpone my late night appearance with Colbert for an indefinite period.
. . .

A short time ago, led by the Murdoch media empire, we heard a chorus of "New York is Dead," accompanied by a flight to allegedly safer/cleaner/cheaper/greener/more relaxed locations.  With some exceptions (young couples with small children), I had little sympathy for those departing or regrets at seeing them leave.  Now, inevitably, the tide is turning.  "New York Real Estate Begins Its Recovery" https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/05/realestate/new-york-real-estate-recovery.html

Welcome repopulators.  I hope that you are headed into reasonably-priced properties and intend to shop and dine locally as soon as the opportunity arises.  Remember what Fran Lebowitz says, "Pretend it's a city."
. . .

In an article about the loyal Trump base, a Georgia voter said, "Warnock is a Marxist and Ossoff is a communist, as far as I'm concerned."  Gee, I thought that it was the other way around.
. . .

The Washington Post reported today that the "campaign finance system has been rocked, with American Express, FedEx, Dow, Facebook and other major companies pausing or halting political donations in the wake of the violent assault on the Capitol."  And what's wrong with that?

Tuesday, January 12, 2021
For the man who has everything:
 
Wednesday, January 13, 2021
I delivered madame to Montefiore Medical Center this afternoon for her Covid-19 vaccination.  For the last several days, our Social Security set has been in a tither trying to schedule this critical vaccination, often encountering cancellation of confirmed appointments, telephone calls on interminable holds or telephone numbers no longer in service.  Usually, with the exercise of patience and/or the administration of a sedative, arrangements have been made.  I, for instance, have Shot #1 scheduled on February 8th and Shot #2 on March 2nd.  Until then, I will try to avoid crowds and Republicans, in general.
. . .

It's no surprise that misdemeanors in New York State include speeding, "Possession of graffiti instruments," issuing a bad check, and public lewdness.  They are usually punishable by one year or less in jail.  What did startle me was reading that a New York State Senator was charged with the misdemeanor of "criminal obstruction of breathing," under NY Penal Law § 121.11.  https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/12/nyregion/senator-luis-sepulveda-arrest.html?searchResultPosition=1

Seriously?  Criminally obstruct breathing?  Is it possible that you or I would be charged with strangulation, a felony (NY Penal Law § 121.12 or § 121.13), while criminal obstruction of breathing is reserved for an elected official?

Thursday, January 14, 2021
Thanks to delightful Toni Rabin, I learned that today is National Hot Pastrami Day.  This motivates me to provide an overview of the pastrami scene, primarily but not entirely, based on personal experience.  I have two controlling conditions; the establishment should be seriously devoted to the cuisine of Eastern Europe, not just a sandwich shop, featuring all sorts of concoctions, adorned with the likes of avocados or bean sprouts. 
 
Following from the first is Kosher certification.  While it is not an absolute requirement that cold cuts be Kosher to be delicious, it is almost an imperative.  I know of two exceptions -- Katz's Delicatessen, 205 East Houston Street (the scene of excitement in "When Harry Met Sally"), and Langer's Delicatessen, 704 South Alvarado Street, Los Angeles, which I can only hope has kept up for the last 40 years since I was there.  Katz's is distinguished for cutting its meat by hand, something that might weaken even a rabbi's resolve; Langer's uses (used) the best seeded rye bread in the galaxy.  My other subjects, all Kosher, are Ben's Deli of Scarsdale, 718 Central Park Avenue, a branch of Ben's Kosher Delicatessen, 209 West 38th Street; Epstein's of Hartsdale, 387 North Central Avenue; Pastrami Queen, 1125 Lexington Avenue; Pastrami Queen, 138 West 72nd Street; Liebman's Deli, 552 West 235th Street, Bronx; 2nd Avenue Deli, 162 East 33rd Street; 2nd Avenue Deli, 1442 First Avenue.
 
Cost inevitably is a critical factor in judging the merchandise.  
  • Suburban Ben's charges $12.99 for pastrami and corned beef sandwiches; 
  • City Ben's, $14.99 both; 
  • Epstein's, $12.99 both; 
  • Katz's, $22.95 pastrami, $21.95 corned beef; 
  • Langer's, $17.95 both; 
  • Pastrami Queen on the East Side $22 for both, on the West Side $20 for both;
  • Liebman's, pastrami $19.45, corned beef $18.45; 
  • 2nd Avenue, both locations, pastrami $22.50, corned beef $21.50.  
Additionally, such places want an extra couple of dollars for "lean," which defeats the purpose of walking in in the first place.  As a condition of remaining in business, a plate of cole slaw and pickles, sour and half sour, is put on the table shortly after you are seated.  Enjoy.  Someday we will talk about tongue. 
. . .

What is it about our Republican friends?  While 10% or more of members of Congress are known to have been infected with Covid-19, substantially more than the general U.S. population; the imbalance is 36 Republican members of the House and 8 of the Senate versus 15 Democrats in the House and 2 in the Senate.  https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2021/01/13/us/congressional-members-with-coronavirus.html?campaign_id=29&emc=edit_up_20210114&instance_id=25999&nl=the-upshot&regi_id=599756&segment_id=49291&te=1&user_id=1353d3a345e55ff509b5cbb17ed36984

With any luck, the numbers soon will rise, because of conduct as follows:
 
Friday, January 15, 2021

Saturday, January 9, 2021

Which Way to the Reichstag?

Monday, January 4, 2021 
[Saturday X-word] 59 Across - Become incapable of parting?
. . .

"Here’s what you need to earn in a year to get a mortgage for a median-priced home in the largest U.S. cities."   https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/31/realestate/can-you-afford-to-buy-a-home.html

California takes the top 4 slots, while half of the bottom 10 are in the Rust Belt.  The spread is extremely dramatic.  The prototypical home buyer in San Jose, California should earn $243,303 annually, making monthly payments of $5,677, compared to $38,266 and $893 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, approximately a 6 to 1 ratio in income and carrying costs. 
. . .

Every so often, I remove my ideological lenses and put on my somewhat old, rusty political scientist glasses.  The issue that intrigues me is the large vote count for the losing 2020 presidential candidate in light of the pandemic and his rather spotty personal conduct.  I think that it comes down to the immortal words of James Carville, Bill Clinton's strategist, "It's the economy, stupid."  Many voters put aside consideration of conditions in November 2020, high unemployment, business failures, soaring Covid-19 infection rates, to reflect on the several preceding years -- unmatched or near-unmatched employment statistics and stock market performance and generally healthy economic growth. (https://apps.bea.gov/scb/2019/11-november/1119-gdp-economy.htm).

While not all economic sectors or populations were better off at the start of 2020 than they were in 2016, I believe that many voters in November maintained the optimistic, feel-good perspective of January as they cast their votes.  And, the pandemic was regarded as a onetime bolt from the blue, originating beyond the control of any politician, putting aside the quality of the response to it.

Tuesday,  January 5, 2021
Here is another view of the pandemic from https://www.apmresearchlab.org/covid/deaths-by-race:
  • 1 in 750 Indigenous Americans has died (or 133.0 deaths per 100,000)
  • 1 in 800 Black Americans has died (or 123.7 deaths per 100,000)
  • 1 in 1,100 Pacific Islander Americans has died (or 90.4 deaths per 100,000)
  • 1 in 1,150 Latino Americans has died (or 86.7 deaths per 100,000)
  • 1 in 1,325 White Americans has died (or 75.7 deaths per 100,000)
  • 1 in 1,925 Asian Americans has died (or 51.6 deaths per 100,000) 
. . .

Tonight, I served as interlocutor with Henry Saltzman discussing his book "Oy! Oy! Oy! The Teacher is a Goy," a slightly fictionalized memoir of teaching in an ultra-Orthodox elementary school (available on Amazon physically or electronically).  As an "ordinary" Brooklyn Jew, an identity I shared, Henry was challenged by the narrow worldview that his students brought into the classroom.  "How old is the world?"

Regardless of the special circumstances that Henry faced, his book illustrates a universal characteristic of standing in front of a classroom -- the teacher learns a lot, too.

Wednesday, January 6, 2021
It's not conclusive yet, but there is every indication this morning that Georgia has rejoined the Union.

Meanwhile, a large contingent of Trump supporters rallied in Washington today in support of law and order.  His address to the crowd included extensive quotes from Rod McKuen, Maya Angelou and Kahlil Gibran which produced the desired effect.
. . .

I visited my eye doctor today, which necessitated passing directly in front of the front door of Pastrami Queen, 1125 Lexington Avenue.  I bought a half pound of chopped liver ($16.50) and a roast beef sandwich ($22), after confirming that the beef was as rare as Kosher cooked meat might be.  Both items would do well on a bus ride crosstown in wintry weather, unlike hot pastrami, for instance.  This expensive combination actually justified itself, producing meals for my young bride and myself, with the one sandwich big enough for two.  And, a good time was had by all, at least while not watching the news.
. . .

Speaking of TV, I watched the third session of the discussion of Israeli television tonight.  I've learned that the government in power was intimately involved with the development of the industry at every crucial step.  Television broadcasting was not allowed until 1966; only black-and-white programming until 1983; one channel alone run by a government ministry until 1993; no commercials until 1994.  There is a lot of fodder here for political and sociological speculation.  For instance, Bibi Netanyahu's rise to power in Israel parallels the development of a competitive broadcasting environment.  You have 30 minutes, write on one side of the paper only.

Thursday, January 7, 2021
May we expect by the same logic that supports the erection and preservation of tributes to Confederate traitors that, in the future, statues of Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley will arise in town squares?
. . .

Ready for "a feel-awful yarn for a feel-awful era"?  Check out this tale from London "of a mother testifying against her son, and vice versa, as she sues him for nearly $100 million in cash and assets."  
https://nyti.ms/3rXJoeA
. . .

In case the cops need any help cleaning up yesterday's mess, the good news is that "Facial Recognition Is Accurate, if You’re a White Guy."  https://www.nytimes.com/2018/02/09/technology/facial-recognition-race-artificial-intelligence.html

Of course, according to the Armed Conflict Location & Event Data Project, "[b]etween May 1 and November 28, 2020, authorities were more than twice as likely to attempt to break up and disperse a left-wing protest than a right-wing one. And in those situations when law enforcement chose to intervene, they were more likely to use force — 34 percent of the time with right-wing protests compared with 51 percent of the time for the left."  https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/the-polices-tepid-response-to-the-capitol-breach-wasnt-an-aberration/
. . .

Responding to my appeal, cousins Michael and Geri stopped by with bagels from Absolute Bagels this afternoon.  An example of superior breeding.

Friday, January 8, 2021
Wednesday's chaotic scenes were distressing for most Americans and our friends abroad.  However, we should regard them as a singular occurrence.  Normally, the seat of our government is well protected from hostile intruders intent upon threatening our institutions.  Here is a comforting example of the diligence normally exercised by the forces of law and order.  https://t.co/vyK0ZJhoFx 
. . .
 
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