Saturday, September 28, 2024

Dietary Unrestrictions

Saturday, September 21, 2024 
It wasn’t by design, but our trip to Massachusetts corresponded to David, Irit, Boaz and Noam taking prominent roles in Sabbath services at Temple Israel of Natick. Before we went to the synagogue, though, we had breakfast at the hotel, offered at an extra charge unnecessarily.

I took some machine-scrambled eggs, an almost fresh bagel and some very tasty peach nectar. However, as I was reaching for some bacon, one piece fell from the tongs onto the leg of my pants, leaving a dozen small, but noticeable, spatters above the left knee on my tan pants, immediate punishment for my callous disregard of the laws of my people. Fortunately, it was raining out, so raindrops initially disguised the evidence of my apostasy as I entered the shul.

I had not brought my own tallis (prayer shawl); I took one from the community rack at the entrance to the sanctuary, a conventional arrangement. Then, the risk to my immortal soul got even more serious. When I sat down, one edge of the tallis lay directly on the area of my pants stained with bacon fat. Hashem, we have a problem.

Had I not been seated in the middle of a crowded synagogue, I might have put the pants and the tallis on a bonfire. Instead, I rested a copy of the weekly program on my leg as long as I was seated. When I had to stand, I avoided being near a short person whose gaze might drift downward. Eventually, I emerged without any further complications in the secular realm.  The final reckoning awaits.

Sunday, September 22,2024
“For much of my life, I’ve struggled with Judaism, but now I know that struggling with Judaism, whether internally in our minds and hearts, or externally within the physical and political world, is just as much a part of being Jewish as is our embracing of it.”
Max Pearlstein on the 32nd anniversary of his Bar Mitzvah.

Monday, September 23, 2024
"The law in Iowa, which went into effect in 2023, prohibits any material that depicts sexual acts from all K-12 schools, with the exception of religious texts.” https://www.nytimes.com/2024/09/23/books/new-state-laws-are-fueling-a-surge-in-book-bans.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=highlightShare&ngrp=mnp

Who needs “Portnoy’s Complaint” when you have Ezekiel 16:17?
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Geography Test:
When two women got into an argument over reclining seats on an airplane, one accused the other of “throwing around some nasty comments, calling me a ‘Mainland girl’ and other derogatory stuff.” Were the two disputants from Hong Kong and China or Staten Island and Manhattan?
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Although currently not in need of his services, I had lunch with distinguished criminal defense attorney Paul Bergman. We went to The Corner, 698 Ninth Avenue. Unlike many other new Chinese restaurants, it is decorated to look like a Chinese restaurant, not the lounge of an airport hotel.

Its menu, on the other hand, is not entirely conventional. For instance, we started with a filet mignon egg roll ($6), an excellent concoction. We also had Spicy Rock Shrimp with Scallion Pancakes ($19), a very large portion, almost indistinguishable from popcorn shrimp, in a sweet and spicy sauce. The equally delicious scallion pancake was thin and brittle. The Crispy Steak with Our Tangerine Peel Sauce ($26) was as identified.

All of this good food was enhanced by the $31.50 Groupon coupon, which paid for the first $50 of food and beverage, excluding the lunch specials, $12-16 with rice and soup. I might actually pay retail for this food.

Tuesday, September 24, 2024
I went to see Dr. DeLuca today, my friendly eye doctor. It was time for another visual field test and I must be losing it, because I took it without getting wrought. No grumbling, no tossing of furniture, no stamping of feet even. As you may recall, a visual field test requires putting your head in a hollowed out pumpkin or something similar and pushing a button when you see a pinpoint of light somewhere, up, down, left, right.

My problem with the test comes from my youth. I grew up in Brooklyn where every day presented competitive challenges. Every light that I miss is like a swing and a miss at stickball, for instance. But, I was striking out today without getting nutso. Is that a benefit of aging?

Wednesday, September 25, 2024
Terrific Tom and I were in an exploratory mood today, so we headed to Mazzy’s Chopped Cheese, 617 Ninth Avenue. We had never been there and Tom was unfamiliar with chopped cheese altogether, bodegas’ gift to humankind. Unfortunately, Mazzy’s was gone, whereabouts unknown, but fortunately, you are least likely to starve in that neighborhood, loaded with joints of every flavor.

We went directly across the street to Tim Ho Wan, 610 Ninth Avenue, a branch of the Michelin-starred Hong Kong dim sum specialist, which has never disappointed us. The Baked BBQ Pork Buns ($8.75 for 3 pieces) are an all-time favorite and we had two orders. Also, Har Gow ($7.75 for 4 pieces); pork wontons in spicy sauce ($9.50 for 6 pieces); deep fried spring roll with egg white and shrimp ($7.75 for 3 pieces); steamed rice with minced beef and pan fried egg ($8.15). Only the last dish I would not reorder, not bad, just boring.

Thursday, September 26, 2024
Soft food for the next few days. Dr. Nolan and his minions spent several hours in my mouth trying to return matters to status quo ante. Conclusive steps await.

Friday, September 27, 2024
Today is National Hug a Vegetarian Day. 

Of course, most vegetarians of my acquaintance flee at the sight of me. Since I am still sticking to soft foods for a day or so, it’s easier to approximate vegetarianism, if not fully embrace it. For lunch at home today, I reached into my culinary inventory and produced a large, creamy plate of lox, eggs and onions, LEO in local diner parlance. I recognize that the lox might as well be a sirloin steak to a committed vegetarian, but I stand with Epicurus (341 BCE-270 BCE), “Be moderate in order to taste the joys of life in abundance.”


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Saturday, September 21, 2024

Pretty In Pink?

Saturday, September 14, 2024 
Boar's Head, formally the Frank Brunckhorst Co., has closed its Virginia plant that is the source of the listeria outbreak that has killed nine people so far. The company has interested me for a long time. In 1995, it claimed trademark infringement and got an injunction against an unaffiliated beer company that produced Weinhard’s Boar’s Head Red. Frank Brunckhorst Co. v. G. Heileman Brewing Co. (875 F. Supp. 966). By the way, trademark law was maybe my favorite subject in law school, because it’s all in the eyes of the beholder.

The decision is legally correct. The average consumer could easily believe that the beer came from the cold cuts company, that confusion the basis for infringement. What got me, however, was naming anything “Boar’s Head” in the first place. Maybe I’m a squeamish city boy, but how can you not think of “Lord of the Flies” when you hear Boar’s Head? The image is hardly an appetite stimulant.
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I don’t expect everyone to have a clear perspective on American politics. I grant that there are semi-sane reasons to vote for Donald Trump, primarily based on deficiencies in the opposition. The New York Times quotes a Trump voter in Arizona with a more personal point of view: “His family is stalwart; they’re amazing, I think that tells a lot about him as a person.” She failed to specify, however, whether she had Trump’s first, second or third family in mind.
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Here’s a daily double. The U.S. was named the top country for tourism in 2024 (https://www3.weforum.org/docs/WEF_Travel_and_Tourism_Development_Index_2024.pdf)
and Central Park, two crosstown blocks from where I am perched, has been voted the top tourist destination in the country. 

Be sure to wave when you pass by.

If we want to go for the trifecta, Una Pizza Napoletana, 150 Orchard Street, has been named the best pizza in the world for the second time in three years.
My first visit is forthcoming.

Sunday, September 15, 2024
This is great stuff. More numbers than you’ll probably know what to do with. Enough to keep you up late going back and forth. The Washington Post analyzed publicly available voting registration data from around the country. What first and last names align with which political party. I know that the URL is enormous and that you may need to copy it into your browser, but you will be so glad that you did.

There’s a place where you can search party affiliation by first or last name, assuming there is a critical mass. Alans, a little bit Republican; not enough Gotthelfs. Redemption from Goldenberg, my mother’s family name, decidedly Democrat.
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Meryl, what were you thinking?

Tuesday, September 17, 2024
Anne Frank famously wrote: “In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart.” Not only did her own fate belie this, everyday myriad contrary examples arise. 

“Seeking social media stardom for their underage daughters, mothers post images of them on Instagram. The accounts draw men sexually attracted to children, and they sometimes pay to see more.”

It may be a gross generalization, but liberals usually care about fairness. I’ll let the other guys speak for themselves. This concern doesn’t always have satisfying results. Here’s my story.

About 42 years ago, I was employed at a major international accounting and consulting firm as a consultant on computer systems design and utilization. A request for proposal came in from the Hong Kong municipal administration, then still answering to the British government. It wanted a comprehensive review of its computer systems usage and recommendations for improvement.

I was assigned to the proposal writing team, focusing on the needed human resources. Of course, bottom line was an important consideration with our hefty billing rates. We were gathering staff from several offices, all destined to spend weeks or more in Hong Kong. By the way, for some reason we had the inside track and I was giddy with the prospect of luxuriating in a ritzy Hong Kong hotel, something that actually took 30 more years to achieve.

I played around with different staffing arrangements, aiming for a palatable cost estimate. For one iteration, I excluded myself to demonstrate how “fair” I was. Sure enough, that’s the one that sold, my selfless integrity intact (you stupid jerk). There was some slight consolation when I learned that the guy to whom I transferred most of my prospective tasks was robbed immediately upon leaving the Hong Kong airport.

Wednesday, September 18, 2024
I’m opinionated, without doubt. However, my restaurant reporting is more positive than negative. Am I so easily pleased? Hardly. I often simply keep the bad experiences to myself.

We went to dinner tonight with Barbara and Bernie, cousins of cousins, at Jupiter, 20 West 50th Street, actually the sunken plaza at Rockefeller Center where the skating rink is. A favorable mention in the New York Times and the attractive setting brought us there and maybe I should stop there, but those are the reasons that I have to unload.

The iconic setting of Jupiter should attract the Holy Lander along with the tourists. The Italian menu is relatively familiar, simple and somewhat expensive, but not punishingly so, although the portions did not follow the elevated prices. Our problems (maybe their problems) fell into two areas, the menu itself and the service.

The menu lists four Italian white wines by the glass and by the bottle, but Soave and Pinot Grigio, the most familiar varieties, were not available. Similarly, they ran out of focaccia, at $8 an order. Mind you, we were in the middle of Manhattan, not Manhattan, Kansas, in the middle of the week, not at the end of a busy holiday weekend.

Service had its own gaps. Salt and pepper only after requested; requested grated cheese never appearing. Long intervals for our food, but attempts to serve us what was ordered at other tables. When the manager came over to commiserate with us, he offered to remember us next time without slashing a penny off tonight’s check.

Friday, September 20, 2024
The Upper West Side's Power Couple drive off into the sunset to visit the second and third generations for the weekend. Actually, we headed east to Massachusetts where the Sun rises, a less poetic destination.
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Former President Donald J. Trump, speaking on Thursday at a campaign event in Washington, said that “if I don’t win this election,” then “the Jewish people would have a lot to do with a loss.”

On behalf of the Jewish people, I will say “You’re welcome.”

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Saturday, September 14, 2024

Ronnie To Donnie

Saturday, September 7, 2024 
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth and an AR-15 semiautomatic rifle.
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There seems to have been very little change in ownership of the properties adjoining Palazzo di Gotthelf over the years. Even when I noticed a new face, Holy Land protocol kept me from exchanging more than Hellos. This survey of local buyers’ origins, therefore, was especially interesting. Who was buying here, now and then.
The results are not really surprising. Other New York State residents followed by Jersey folk lead the parade, actually a parade that has thinned out over time. Population size and proximity play a big role in this migration, California, Florida, Connecticut and Texas coming next. Unfortunately, foreign buyers are lumped together, Shanghai chefs with Russian oligarchs and Mediterranean gun runners. (Hey Autocorrect, that was gun not fun.)

Sunday, September 8, 2024
According to the New York Times, "voters are unsure they know enough about where Kamala Harris stands."
Therefore, Donald Trump remains even or slightly ahead in many public opinion polls. That’s perfectly understandable, since his policies will evidently produce bigger, stronger, faster, prettier, safer, taller, curlier, tastier, slimmer results and tax cuts for everyone.
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It was a recent feel-good story when Farhan Al-Qadi, a Bedouin Israeli hostage who was kidnapped on October 7 by Hamas, was rescued by the IDF on August 28. Look how broad minded, how inclusive we Jews are. But, most Israeli Bedouins have a harsh life, deprived of basics, forget privileges, to a degree that I failed to recognize.

A quote from an obituary for Rabbi Michael Lerner sticks with me in spite of too many exceptions. “Jewish religion is irrevocably committed to the side of the oppressed.” My family was not political and we did not speak of social justice at the dinner table. Rather, if you went to more than one Passover seder, you internalized a rooting interest in freedom and justice, the very essence of Judaism in my eyes. At the very least, it fostered a guilty conscience and sometimes it generated a charitable act. Clearly, Israeli Bedouins deserve more than that. 
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After spending most of the week changing dressings, my young bride deserved a treat. So, we went to Bhatti Grill, 100 Lexington Avenue, for good Indian food. Almost empty when we entered, the 16 tables inside were all soon occupied as were most of the half dozen outside. It was a good choice for all of us.

We started with Banarsi Chaat, grilled potato patties with chickpeas, tamarind and yogurt sauce ($9.95). Just listing the ingredients doesn't do justice to this dish, which has a surprising kick. Note, they claim the menus are outdated with lower prices. My main was Kalmi Kebab, three small chicken legs (the menu calls them thighs) marinated in yogurt and black pepper ($16.95). Misidentification aside, it was delicious. Madam had Khatte Baingan, eggplant cooked in tomatoes and tamarind ($16.95). I had one good taste of this and I would order it myself.

Tuesday, September 10, 2024
Most of us will be paying attention to Harris vs. Trump tonight. But, what’s your reaction to the Fleet vs. the Frost? The Professional Women’s Hockey League announced the names of its original six teams, following the Original Six of the National Hockey League — New York, Boston, Chicago, Detroit, Montreal and Toronto, Rangers, Bruins, Blackhawks, Red Wings, Canadiens and Maple Leafs. 

The PWHL, unfortunately, has saddled most of its teams with awkward names — Boston Fleet, Minnesota Frost, Montreal Victoire and Ottawa Charge plus New York Sirens and Toronto Sceptres. Singular team names are not unknown in sports, more prevalent at the college level, but still a rarity for most professional teams in the major sports. While the National Basketball Association has four single names among 30 teams, the Women’s National Basketball Association has eight single names among 12 teams. 

Even if some teams fail to show team spirit, they are nevertheless a team, not a thing: Minnesota Vikings, not Minnesota Frost. As an aside, I would eliminate abominations, such as Utah Jazz and Los Angeles Lakers, the unthinking retention of names after a relocation. So, back to the drawing board PWHL and bring on the Boston Beans, the Minnesota Icy Toes, the Montreal Croissants and the Ottawa Owls.
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I returned to see Dr. Jesse Lewin to have my stitches removed so I don’t look like I lost a fight with a sewing machine. With my nose now reduced to ugly from grotesque, I ventured forth to meet Michael Ratner for lunch at Vanessa’s Dumpling House, 1623 Second Avenue. Starting from a small storefront on the Lower East Side, Vanessa has expanded to seven locations, including Brooklyn, Queens and northern New Jersey.

We shared spicy boiled beef dumplings ($8.88 for 8 pieces), a Peking duck sesame pancake sandwich ($9.88), and noodles with sesame peanut sauce ($8.88). The large portion of noodles was disappointing, the sauce was weak, not very peanutty. All else was very good and Michael’s company was as good as always.

Wednesday, September 11, 2024
We had the exquisite pleasure of having Dr. Allison come over for dinner. She is here to address a medical conference. She chose her mother’s cooking over a Michelin star on her expense account. What a tribute!

Thursday, September 12, 2024
La Grenouille was one of the Le and La restaurants that opened in the 1960s, beautiful, toney, expensive. During the 1980s, I think that I got to them all, because I was in a position to charge clients for my indulgences. As my career regressed, these opportunities faded. 

The absence of my patronage made no difference to their fate, but time and changes to manners and mores did. La Grenouille, a particularly beautiful setting, is closing this week after 62 years. Its website cited devotees, such as “Gregory Peck, Frank Sinatra, Tony Bennett, Sidney Poitier, Salvador Dali, Sophia Loren, David Bowie, Truman Capote, Lee Radziwill a veritable who's who of the world's most beautiful and celebrated.” I don’t feel slighted.

Friday, September 13, 2024
A review of a new biography of Ronald Reagan says that “today, he is wreathed in a cloud of nostalgia, and many historians have judged him both consequential and effective." I grant that he was consequential, but, viewed free of nostalgia, I think that Reagan was destructive. He initiated a cycle of weakening government to allow power to return to selfish private interests as had been customary before the New Deal.

His mantra, stated in his first inaugural address, was “government is not the solution to our problem; government is the problem.” He imagined that a nation of hundreds of millions of people could proceed on a glide path regulated only by the laws of supply and demand.

Forty-four years later, about half the American voting population imagine that bluster, bankruptcy and debauchery are ample qualifications for governance.
 
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Saturday, September 7, 2024

Room To Spare?

Saturday, August 31, 2024
"The [Florida] law at the center of the case, House Bill 1069, requires schools to promptly remove a book if a single parent or county resident makes a complaint that it depicts sexual conduct."

Psalms Chapter 3 has been summarized as “one man with God is always in the majority” and here we have a potent example.
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This a fascinating study of what home size  you can buy in Europe for the median price of a Manhattan condo, $750,000 for a large studio/small one-bedroom of 500 sq. feet.

I don’t know whether to laugh or to cry, reading that you can get 4,013 sq. feet in the Loire Valley or 3,165 sq. feet in Tuscany, never mind 5,859 in Thessaly, Greece, for the same money. 

Sunday, September 1, 2024
Gentleman Jerry makes the brilliant observation that the 30-page main section of today’s New York Times has seven stories with “Trump” in the headline and one in the sub-head, but none containing “Harris.” 

“Say anything you like about me, but spell my name right.” This has been reliably traced to another successful huckster. P.T. Barnum.
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Last week, I commended Donald Trump for returning decades to me by attacking his opponent as a Communist, harkening back to the 1950s. Today, the New York Times is trying to truncate this century, robbing us all of valuable decades, publishing “The Best Books of the 21st Century.” 

 It’s only 2024, man. Give it some time.

Monday, September 2, 2024
Somehow, I missed it, but Bill Clinton made this observation in 2002, which remains critical today. ''When people are feeling insecure, they'd rather have someone who is strong and wrong rather than somebody who is weak and right.''

Tuesday, September 3, 2024
MOHS seems to be a snappy acronym. Something like Medically Originated Happy Surgery. But, really, Dr. Mohs invented this dermatological procedure, removing cancerous skin layer by layer until reaching a benign level. I had it done years ago on my forehead and today they aimed at my nose.

Dr. Jesse Lewin, a real mensch, had to carve twice to get to a clear spot. I was left with a big bandage, an ugly black eye and pain expected to last for another day or two. Maybe next time I’ll wear sun block.

Wednesday, September 4, 2024
It’s no secret that I’m not a Christian. However, there are few enclaves in the Western world that are free from Christian influence. Christmas and Easter have a major impact on our calendar. I remember going into a pharmacy in Germany minutes before it closed at 2 P.M. on Good Friday, not to reopen until Tuesday. So, I couldn’t ignore the news from Venezuela that Christmas will begin in October this year.

Traditionally, Advent immediately precedes Christmas with special prayers and practices. It generally is observed from about November 30th to Christmas Eve, but its exact duration differs by denomination. After all, why have different denominations if everyone agrees? 

Another measure of the Christmas season is the twelve days of Christmas, with leaping lords and maids a’milking and partridges you know where. We normally accuse left-wing dictators of atheism, but Venezuela’s President Nicolás Maduro seems to be headed in the opposite direction. I wonder if this will cause a wrapping paper shortage in Venezuela?

Thursday, September 5, 2024
Since my appearance right now might cause little children to lose sleep and dogs to bark incessantly, I am remaining in the confines of Palazzo di Gotthelf until my pleasant countenance returns.

Friday, September 6, 2024
Stony Brook Steve took my battered nose for a walk, the first time that it experienced fresh air in days. Only a little bit of blood had oozed through the dressing, barely enough to scare innocent people. 

We went to lunch at 74th Street Cafe at Fairway Market, 2131 Broadway. I had a generously portioned bacon, egg and cheese sandwich on a roll ($9), very well made as is usually the case. The only consistent flaw is their thimble size servings of Diet Coke at $2 a shot. 

Just a note about "on a roll." If you are from around here, you know what that means, what others call a hard roll or a Kaiser roll. Once upon a time, when I was wandering the highways and byways of mid-America, trying either to find myself or lose myself, it's too distant to remember which, I stopped in a diner for breakfast and asked for scrambled egg on a roll. My reflexes were good enough to stop the waitress (in 1965, still a waitress) from putting the egg on a prune Danish.
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Gentleman Jerry continues to keep tally of New York Times headlines. Everyday this week, Trump’s name leads. Are people actually reading the stories or merely getting the impression that he's really a busy guy?

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