Dietary Unrestrictions

Saturday, September 21, 2024 

It wasn’t by design, but our trip to Massachusetts corresponded to David, Irit, Boaz and Noam taking prominent roles in Sabbath services at Temple Israel of Natick. Before we went to the synagogue, though, we had breakfast at the hotel, offered at an extra charge unnecessarily.

I took some machine-scrambled eggs, an almost fresh bagel and some very tasty peach nectar. However, as I was reaching for some bacon, one piece fell from the tongs onto the leg of my pants, leaving a dozen small, but noticeable, spatters above the left knee on my tan pants, immediate punishment for my callous disregard of the laws of my people. Fortunately, it was raining out, so raindrops initially disguised the evidence of my apostasy as I entered the shul.

I had not brought my own tallis (prayer shawl); I took one from the community rack at the entrance to the sanctuary, a conventional arrangement. Then, the risk to my immortal soul got even more serious. When I sat down, one edge of the tallis lay directly on the area of my pants stained with bacon fat. Hashem, we have a problem.

Had I not been seated in the middle of a crowded synagogue, I might have put the pants and the tallis on a bonfire. Instead, I rested a copy of the weekly program on my leg as long as I was seated. When I had to stand, I avoided being near a short person whose gaze might drift downward. Eventually, I emerged without any further complications in the secular realm.  The final reckoning awaits.

Sunday, September 22,2024

“For much of my life, I’ve struggled with Judaism, but now I know that struggling with Judaism, whether internally in our minds and hearts, or externally within the physical and political world, is just as much a part of being Jewish as is our embracing of it.”

Max Pearlstein on the 32nd anniversary of his Bar Mitzvah.

Monday, September 23, 2024

"The law in Iowa, which went into effect in 2023, prohibits any material that depicts sexual acts from all K-12 schools, with the exception of religious texts.” https://www.nytimes.com/2024/09/23/books/new-state-laws-are-fueling-a-surge-in-book-bans.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=highlightShare&ngrp=mnp

Who needs “Portnoy’s Complaint” when you have Ezekiel 16:17?

https://biblehub.com/ezekiel/16-17.htm

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Geography Test:

When two women got into an argument over reclining seats on an airplane, one accused the other of “throwing around some nasty comments, calling me a ‘Mainland girl’ and other derogatory stuff.” Were the two disputants from Hong Kong and China or Staten Island and Manhattan?

https://www.cnn.com/2024/09/23/travel/cathay-pacific-bans-passengers-scli-intl?cid=ios_app

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Although currently not in need of his services, I had lunch with distinguished criminal defense attorney Paul Bergman. We went to The Corner, 698 Ninth Avenue. Unlike many other new Chinese restaurants, it is decorated to look like a Chinese restaurant, not the lounge of an airport hotel.

Its menu, on the other hand, is not entirely conventional. For instance, we started with a filet mignon egg roll ($6), an excellent concoction. We also had Spicy Rock Shrimp with Scallion Pancakes ($19), a very large portion, almost indistinguishable from popcorn shrimp, in a sweet and spicy sauce. The equally delicious scallion pancake was thin and brittle. The Crispy Steak with Our Tangerine Peel Sauce ($26) was as identified.

All of this good food was enhanced by the $31.50 Groupon coupon, which paid for the first $50 of food and beverage, excluding the lunch specials, $12-16 with rice and soup. I might actually pay retail for this food.

Tuesday, September 24, 2024

I went to see Dr. DeLuca today, my friendly eye doctor. It was time for another visual field test and I must be losing it, because I took it without getting wrought. No grumbling, no tossing of furniture, no stamping of feet even. As you may recall, a visual field test requires putting your head in a hollowed out pumpkin or something similar and pushing a button when you see a pinpoint of light somewhere, up, down, left, right.

My problem with the test comes from my youth. I grew up in Brooklyn where every day presented competitive challenges. Every light that I miss is like a swing and a miss at stickball, for instance. But, I was striking out today without getting nutso. Is that a benefit of aging?

Wednesday, September 25, 2024

Terrific Tom and I were in an exploratory mood today, so we headed to Mazzy’s Chopped Cheese, 617 Ninth Avenue. We had never been there and Tom was unfamiliar with chopped cheese altogether, bodegas’ gift to humankind. Unfortunately, Mazzy’s was gone, whereabouts unknown, but fortunately, you are least likely to starve in that neighborhood, loaded with joints of every flavor.

We went directly across the street to Tim Ho Wan, 610 Ninth Avenue, a branch of the Michelin-starred Hong Kong dim sum specialist, which has never disappointed us. The Baked BBQ Pork Buns ($8.75 for 3 pieces) are an all-time favorite and we had two orders. Also, Har Gow ($7.75 for 4 pieces); pork wontons in spicy sauce ($9.50 for 6 pieces); deep fried spring roll with egg white and shrimp ($7.75 for 3 pieces); steamed rice with minced beef and pan fried egg ($8.15). Only the last dish I would not reorder, not bad, just boring.

Thursday, September 26, 2024

Soft food for the next few days. Dr. Nolan and his minions spent several hours in my mouth trying to return matters to status quo ante. Conclusive steps await.

Friday, September 27, 2024

Today is National Hug a Vegetarian Day. 

https://nationaltoday.com/hug-a-vegetarian-day/

Of course, most vegetarians of my acquaintance flee at the sight of me. Since I am still sticking to soft foods for a day or so, it’s easier to approximate vegetarianism, if not fully embrace it. For lunch at home today, I reached into my culinary inventory and produced a large, creamy plate of lox, eggs and onions, LEO in local diner parlance. I recognize that the lox might as well be a sirloin steak to a committed vegetarian, but I stand with Epicurus (341 BCE-270 BCE), “Be moderate in order to taste the joys of life in abundance.”