Saturday, January 16, 2021

Name That Tune

Monday, January 11, 2021
A dear friend offers this unattributed antecedent to Henry Saltzman's book "Oy! Oy! Oy! The Teacher is a Goy."

Oy, oy, oy,
The rebbe was a goy.
What have they done to my little Yiddish boy?
Sent my boy to college,
To learn to read and write,
Now he takes out shikshes,
On Yom Kippur night.

Oy, oy, oy,
The rebbe was a goy.
What have they done to my little Yiddish boy?
Sent my boy to college,
To learn the Jewish way,
Now he thinks a hora’s,
A girl who’s gone astray
. . .

Stephen Colbert has been asking some of his celebrity guests this intriguing question: "You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life: What is it?"  I really don't care much about the answers from the famous and glorious; it is my attempt to answer that interests me.  But first, it's reasonable to be appalled by the prospect of being limited to one song in perpetuity.  Even if it is repeated at long intervals, hearing it again and again will eventually induce mania.

I have struggled to come up with an answer.  I started weighing the desired effect of the singular choice I had to make -- comfort, uplift, nostalgia, reassurance, inspiration, sleep-inducing?  I'm still pondering, but I think it has to be a ballad, relatively peaceful and calming.  I don't mean to dismiss the value of upbeat, rhythmic tunes, but their lively beat might overstimulate an old man getting older.  I can't even decide whether I want a vocal or instrumental selection.  Words repeated often enough will be drained of their meaning.  So, what do you think?  By the way, this indecision has caused me to postpone my late night appearance with Colbert for an indefinite period.
. . .

A short time ago, led by the Murdoch media empire, we heard a chorus of "New York is Dead," accompanied by a flight to allegedly safer/cleaner/cheaper/greener/more relaxed locations.  With some exceptions (young couples with small children), I had little sympathy for those departing or regrets at seeing them leave.  Now, inevitably, the tide is turning.  "New York Real Estate Begins Its Recovery" https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/05/realestate/new-york-real-estate-recovery.html

Welcome repopulators.  I hope that you are headed into reasonably-priced properties and intend to shop and dine locally as soon as the opportunity arises.  Remember what Fran Lebowitz says, "Pretend it's a city."
. . .

In an article about the loyal Trump base, a Georgia voter said, "Warnock is a Marxist and Ossoff is a communist, as far as I'm concerned."  Gee, I thought that it was the other way around.
. . .

The Washington Post reported today that the "campaign finance system has been rocked, with American Express, FedEx, Dow, Facebook and other major companies pausing or halting political donations in the wake of the violent assault on the Capitol."  And what's wrong with that?

Tuesday, January 12, 2021
For the man who has everything:
 
Wednesday, January 13, 2021
I delivered madame to Montefiore Medical Center this afternoon for her Covid-19 vaccination.  For the last several days, our Social Security set has been in a tither trying to schedule this critical vaccination, often encountering cancellation of confirmed appointments, telephone calls on interminable holds or telephone numbers no longer in service.  Usually, with the exercise of patience and/or the administration of a sedative, arrangements have been made.  I, for instance, have Shot #1 scheduled on February 8th and Shot #2 on March 2nd.  Until then, I will try to avoid crowds and Republicans, in general.
. . .

It's no surprise that misdemeanors in New York State include speeding, "Possession of graffiti instruments," issuing a bad check, and public lewdness.  They are usually punishable by one year or less in jail.  What did startle me was reading that a New York State Senator was charged with the misdemeanor of "criminal obstruction of breathing," under NY Penal Law § 121.11.  https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/12/nyregion/senator-luis-sepulveda-arrest.html?searchResultPosition=1

Seriously?  Criminally obstruct breathing?  Is it possible that you or I would be charged with strangulation, a felony (NY Penal Law § 121.12 or § 121.13), while criminal obstruction of breathing is reserved for an elected official?

Thursday, January 14, 2021
Thanks to delightful Toni Rabin, I learned that today is National Hot Pastrami Day.  This motivates me to provide an overview of the pastrami scene, primarily but not entirely, based on personal experience.  I have two controlling conditions; the establishment should be seriously devoted to the cuisine of Eastern Europe, not just a sandwich shop, featuring all sorts of concoctions, adorned with the likes of avocados or bean sprouts. 
 
Following from the first is Kosher certification.  While it is not an absolute requirement that cold cuts be Kosher to be delicious, it is almost an imperative.  I know of two exceptions -- Katz's Delicatessen, 205 East Houston Street (the scene of excitement in "When Harry Met Sally"), and Langer's Delicatessen, 704 South Alvarado Street, Los Angeles, which I can only hope has kept up for the last 40 years since I was there.  Katz's is distinguished for cutting its meat by hand, something that might weaken even a rabbi's resolve; Langer's uses (used) the best seeded rye bread in the galaxy.  My other subjects, all Kosher, are Ben's Deli of Scarsdale, 718 Central Park Avenue, a branch of Ben's Kosher Delicatessen, 209 West 38th Street; Epstein's of Hartsdale, 387 North Central Avenue; Pastrami Queen, 1125 Lexington Avenue; Pastrami Queen, 138 West 72nd Street; Liebman's Deli, 552 West 235th Street, Bronx; 2nd Avenue Deli, 162 East 33rd Street; 2nd Avenue Deli, 1442 First Avenue.
 
Cost inevitably is a critical factor in judging the merchandise.  
  • Suburban Ben's charges $12.99 for pastrami and corned beef sandwiches; 
  • City Ben's, $14.99 both; 
  • Epstein's, $12.99 both; 
  • Katz's, $22.95 pastrami, $21.95 corned beef; 
  • Langer's, $17.95 both; 
  • Pastrami Queen on the East Side $22 for both, on the West Side $20 for both;
  • Liebman's, pastrami $19.45, corned beef $18.45; 
  • 2nd Avenue, both locations, pastrami $22.50, corned beef $21.50.  
Additionally, such places want an extra couple of dollars for "lean," which defeats the purpose of walking in in the first place.  As a condition of remaining in business, a plate of cole slaw and pickles, sour and half sour, is put on the table shortly after you are seated.  Enjoy.  Someday we will talk about tongue. 
. . .

What is it about our Republican friends?  While 10% or more of members of Congress are known to have been infected with Covid-19, substantially more than the general U.S. population; the imbalance is 36 Republican members of the House and 8 of the Senate versus 15 Democrats in the House and 2 in the Senate.  https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2021/01/13/us/congressional-members-with-coronavirus.html?campaign_id=29&emc=edit_up_20210114&instance_id=25999&nl=the-upshot&regi_id=599756&segment_id=49291&te=1&user_id=1353d3a345e55ff509b5cbb17ed36984

With any luck, the numbers soon will rise, because of conduct as follows:
 
Friday, January 15, 2021

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