Saturday, January 1, 2011

New Horizons

The ethical rules for a law clerk/court attorney in New York State courts are essentially the same as those for a judge. We cannot accept outside employment that involves or appears to involve a conflict of interest. Our right to free expression is somewhat curbed regarding active cases, wherever litigated, political candidates and public policy. However, I have found a niche where I might apply some of my skills within the ethical limits of my position.
As of January 1, 2011, I am forming Grandpa Alan’s Global Internet Communications Enterprise (GAG-ICE) with the following mission:
GAG-ICE will produce written messages that are grammatically correct, free of spelling and typographical errors, and read as the work of a person educated in and comfortable with the English language. This service will be available to the likes of Dr. Gary Adams, Coordinator, Obama’s Foundation; Mrs. Maria Cristina Gamboa, Regional Auditor, Banco De Oro Universal Bank of the Philippines; Todd Garvin, Microsoft Wealth Distribution Scheme; Mrs. Rachael Habib, the widow of a Ugandan banker; Mr. Kenneth Gram, Online Games Director, Swiss-Lotto Netherlands; Chief Jeffrey P. Scott, Honorable Paymaster General of the Republic of Nigeria; Madam Joy Williams, a Nigerian widow seriously ill with cancer; Mr. Michael Morgan, UN Officer; Mr. Adams Smith, Claiming Manager of the National Lottery Promotion, Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso; Mrs. Stella Ethan, a Christian; Robert S. Mueller III, Director, FBI; Mr. Mohamed Issaka, an auditor with African Development Bank; Mrs. Carolyn A. Taylor, Promotions Manager of Euro Millions Online Promotions; Miss Grace Jagael, a 21-year old university student from Abidjan-Cote D’ivore; Ming Yang, branch director of an unnamed bank; Prof. David Bowen, Diplomat from United Kingdom; Mr Abdallah Damiba, head of foreign exchange and account reconciliation department, Bank of Africa, Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso; Dr. Foster Brown, Coordinator, Obama’s Foundation and United Nations Barrister Amenyi Laurent; Mrs. Marbel Bohiri, a widow in Mali seriously ill with cancer; Prof. Madya Dr. Rozainee Taib, Recruitment Officer, Global Sources; Sir Sandy Crombie, Fund Manager Partner, Standard Life International; Senator David A. B. Mark, Committee on Foreign Payment, Lagos, Nigeria; Mrs. Julie Fryer, Lottery coordinator; Mr. Iain James Mackay, Non-executive Director of Hang Seng Bank Ltd, Hong Kong; Dr. Richard Adams, UK National Lottery; Princess Favour Johnson, a 21-year old girl from Liberia; Thomas Lang, Public Affairs Director, Diamond Bank PLC; Ahmed Khan, a solicitor at law; Mrs. Tatiana Gavril, a seriously-ill cancer patient; Mr. Daniel Thompson, Director, Fedex Shipping Company; Ms Jennifer Eze, computer scientist with Central Bank of Nigeria; Mrs Latifa Abdelaziz, a 46-year old widow in Morocco seriously ill with cancer; General Jon Wells, United Nations; Mr. Saami Omar, Auditor, Banque Atlantique, Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso; Mrs. Manuela Monteiro, Director of Online Lotto, the Netherlands.
These are just some of the kind folks offering me access to great wealth as a result of my good fortune or someone else’s ill fortune (often as a result of an African airplane crash). However, as I struggled with the many errors in usage, grammar, syntax, and spelling their messages contained, I realized how much I could assist them as they go about their good works. Thus, I have established GAG-ICE, incorporated in the Republic of Cape Verde, to compose, edit, rewrite and/or distribute such generous offers. In addition to the services offered to our clients, GAG-ICE has abundant Investment and Franchise opportunities, which you will learn about immediately upon our receipt of
• Your Name
• Your Address
• Your Telephone Number
• Your Social Security Number
• Your Mother’s Maiden Name
• Your Primary Banking Institution

1 comment:

  1. Not sure I get it - but good luck with that.