Saturday, December 7, 2024

It Only Hurts When I Laugh

Saturday, November 30, 2024 
A museum in Marseille, France is holding an exhibit on nudism. On certain days, clothing is optional for attendees. The New York Times conveniently provides a picture at the exhibition. Cherchez la femme?

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Yesterday, in Philadelphia, the New York Rangers lost their fifth hockey game in a row, something that had not happened for a long time and very unexpected early in a season following one where they had more wins than any other team in the National Hockey League. Undeterred, Gentleman Jerry and I headed to Madison Square Garden for a matinee match today against the Montreal Canadiens, with the incentive of free food and drinks in the lounge run by a major bank. We ate well, antipasto skewers with cheese, olives, meat; ziti in a creamy garlic sauce; cheese pierogies; “Chicken Vodka Parm Spring Rolls”. Diet Pepsi flowed freely.

The game proceeded successfully, as well. Rangers won, 4-3, the winning goal scored with 22 seconds left.
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The evening’s entertainment was less suspenseful, but far more amusing. “Eureka Day” is a dramedy centered on a progressive private school in Berkeley, California facing a mumps outbreak. It captures the contorted attempts to avoid offending any parent, including those espousing science-free theories. The delightful Jessica Hecht leads the cast in her usual outstanding fashion.

Sunday, December 1, 2024
While nudists may save some money on clothing, it probably would not be enough to move them into the most expensive real estate in the United States, based on the median price of listed properties for sale.

Atherton, California, with the dubious distinction of being the most expensive Zip code, is just north of Palo Alto and Stanford University and shelters many tech gazillionaires not yet arrested for cooking the books. 

The overall picture is of a country awash with expensive properties. Even Benton County, Arkansas, the least expensive Zip code has a median list price of $408,403. That’s a lot of money in a state that has a minimum wage of $11 per hour. In other words, it would only take less than 38,000 hours to afford this Arkansas bargain.

Monday, December 2, 2024
8420 Hudson South is my temporary new address. It’s a room with a view directly over the Hudson River and slightly to the left of the George Washington Bridge in the Milstein Hospital at the Columbia (you’ll pardon the expression) Presbyterian Medical Center. I’m here for the next few days to be tested for hydrocephalus, water on the brain, according to several neurologists. 

Evaluation and testing began shortly after I got into my room. I had to remember numbers and words, backwards, forwards. I liked the part where I had to identify pictures of animals. I insisted that they all looked like Donald Trump. The real business began after lunch, that is if they had allowed me to eat lunch. What followed was more than two hours of ouch, OUch; OUCH! as they inserted a drain in my spine.

My dear wife was here when I returned to my room, as I am sure she will be in the next few days, her support a vital element in my recovery.

Tuesday, December 3, 2024
Every four hours, morning, noon and night, the spigot inserted in my back is turned on making me the human equivalent of a sugar maple tree, brimming with sap. While the sleep intervals would be very welcome, they are constantly disturbed by the hospital’s soundtrack of never ending bings, bongs, dings, dongs, pings, rings, chirps, buzzes, beeps, bleeps, chimes, peals and squeals.
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I wish Joe Biden had kept his promise to not pardon his son, dwarfed, however, by his implicit promise to run for only one term as president, “I view myself as a transition candidate.” 

I consider it foolish, though, to criticize his behavior in light of the actual and promised conduct of the 45th/47th president. At any other time in American history, Biden would be deservedly condemned, but with the clown show returning to town, this mistake should disappear as will the recognition of his accomplishments.
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I will not bother discussing the hospital meals now that I have had a few served and fewer eaten. I don’t expect chicken as good as Popeyes, French toast as good as B&H’s, roast beef as good as Smith & Wollensky’s or desserts as good as Magnolia Bakery’s. I’m in the bloody hospital, not on vacation.

Wednesday, December 4, 2024
I have previously dwelled on the cost of residential real estate in the Holy Land and parking spaces, as well. Some other items also reach stratospheric heights, for example private secondary school tuition. The Dalton School, on the Upper East Side, charges $64,300. Charitably, tuition assistance is offered even for families with hefty six-figure incomes.
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It’s a cliché of politics that the extreme right and the extreme left often mirror each other. The same also holds for religious couture. “For women, this [ban] includes wearing tight clothes and outfits that expose the body below the neck, above the ankles, and above the forearms.” Jerusalem? No, Tehran. https://www.cnn.com/2024/12/04/middleeast/iran-chastity-law-dress restrictions-intl?cid=ios_app

Thursday, December 5, 2024
My good friend Larry Storrs just had knee surgery. Here is what he wrote me: “By the way, in my stay at the hospital and rehab place I noticed a lot of immigrants treating me and I began to ask what countries they were from.  I compiled a list of 30 countries, with many from Philipines, El Salvador, India.  Here is my list:  India, Canada, Dom Republic, Sierra Leone, Uganda, Nigeria, Georgia (former part of USSR), Cameroon, China, former Yugoslavia or BosniaHerzebonia, Korea, Peru, Venezuela, Colombia, Jamaica, Ethiopia, Egypt, Indonesia, Nepal, Togo, Liberia, Ireland (one of the doctors born in U.S. but citizen of Ireland), Congo, Zambia, Ivory Coast, Iran, and Taiwan.” 

I have not been as thorough as Larry over the last 3-1/2 days, but the diversity of my hospital’s staff was evident, too. On the other hand, “America is for Americans and Americans only” says Trump advisor Stephen Miller. https://youtu.be/uMUq40wzfP4
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Home, sweet home. Stony Brook Steve was kind enough to ferry me, because America’s Favorite Epidemiologist had committed months ago to give a speech about, of all things, Epidemiology.

Friday, December 6, 2024
Katherine Walker Brodie can't be that old.
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Problem solved
"How One of the World’s Richest Men Is Avoiding $8 Billion in Taxes"

Today’s headline: “The ‘Chilling’ Fatal Shooting of a C.E.O. Has Business Leaders on Edge”

Not tomorrow’s headline: “Business Leaders Eliminate Harsh and Punitive Policies Targeting Consumers”

 


5 comments:

  1. Nudism- really, this blog is almost pornographic. I will have to report you but i think who i should make the report to. the other issue is hydrcephalis. My dau who passed away was brain damaged from nine days old because of hydrocephalis. Your brain is obviously in very good shape no what the doctors say.

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  2. I cannnnnnt think who i should report you to. I left out the word " cant".

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  3. Wishing you well. Any water on your brain must be designer

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  4. Hope you really don't have hydrocephalus... Not a good thing at our age.....

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  5. I hope 🙏 all is well at the end of your hospital stay, and no return is needed!

    That Benton County in Arkansas has a median home value in the mid-six figures is not surpriseing given that it's the headquarters of Wallmart. I expect that some of the founding family have estates there, and that their top managers live in the area.

    Your friend's list of native countries of his medical staff is incorrect, or at least it will be shortly. I hear that our incoming president is suggesting that, if the US "continues to subsidize Mexico and Canada," we should make them states. So goodbye to their previous status as independent nations.

    Lastly: re: the list of sound synonyms, you could get a job on the staff of whomever publishes Roget's Thesaurus.

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